The end of negotiations

Something dramatic recently happened to me. I quit my job. Since November 2000 I worked at Integro. On January 27, 2006 that ended. I (and the others) basically bought an Integro contract - the details of which are contractually secret.

But that's not the most important takeaway for me. It was the negotiation process. See, as we prepared proposals for Integro we had to think through the worst case responses. It was due diligence. As a result, we had to imagine our Integro counterparts as their worst possible selves.

Because this took weeks, we were weeks imagining people we had known for five+ years as strategically cunning, manipulative, self interested and wantonly destructive. In hindsight, none of this ever arose; Integro was most gentlemanly.

However, the side effect is - now I am left remembering these people I actually enjoyed working with in an inappropriately strong negative light. Moreover, they are left remembering me seeing them so.

I have a feeling that this is one of those things you have to learn and can never be taught. Only experience can really explain how objectivity slowly seeps through cracks. It's a constant effort to remember your opponents aren't axe murders; they’re just the other side of the deal.      

It can be wrong to tell the truth

Sometimes telling the "truth" can be as wrong as telling a lie. Jesus did not call us to merely tell the truth, nor did He model it in His life.

I am ofttimes with people where the shallow defense "I was telling the truth" is used to mask a cruel gesture to another person.

We simply cannot accept that our call to truth is as simple as "truth at all costs." Does this mean that we are required then to lie on occasion?

The answer to the last question is easy. Sort of.

While hiding Jews in your attic the Nazis at your door ask if there are Jews in the house. To say "no" is to lie; to say "yes" is certain death for the hiding Jews. The choice is between truth and justice.

The answer is further polluted by the prostitute Rahab who lived in the wall of Jericho.

Rahab hid the Israeli spies (Jews) on her roof, lying to the authorities (Nazis?) searching for them. God spared Rahab in Jericho's destruction; she is even in Hebrews "Hall of Faith."

Ultimately Rahab was not honored for her prostitution or lies, but her faith. Our broken world creates such foggy scenarios where right can be mistaken for wrong and wrong for right; clarity can be fleeting.

This is not my point.

We are called to truth, which is clear enough. But it does not stop there. We are specifically called to speak the truth in love. Love is the irremovable trump card.

We demonstrate servanthood by exercising grace and patience, by mercy and forgiveness and by laying down our lives for others. Cruel truth (or cold hard truth) alone does not fit into that mold. Truth in love, however, is like a tailored glove.

This does not mean we are not to speak up when we can prevent injustice. But the next time you are tempted to cruelly point out another's failure, remember to step back and identify that such a desire for "truth" in itself can be wrong.

Silence, after all, is next to Godliness.    

Some issues on Human Nature

In the last few weeks I have come to apprecaite some of these observations in the context of servant Leadership (kudos to Dan Reiland for penning them):

People gravitate to the behavior that resonates with their weaknesses.

It is human nature to lean into our weakness.

We are most susceptible at our weakest point.

People will do things in order to compensate for or cover their fears.

People will rise above their weaknesses and tap into a potential greater than their own when believed in and treated with dignity and respect.

People will step out in faith in order to live above their fears when challenged with something meaningful.

People will humble themselves and give themselves away when they see the power of Christ resident in you as you model a humble servant's spirit.